There once was a beautiful princess, born in a tiny village in a place far, far away, called “Nebraska”. The princess was loved by all, and had a wonderful childhood. As she grew, the villagers asked what she wanted when she grew up. “I have a dream…I want to marry a prince, and live every day as if it were a celebration!!“. The princess was particularly fond of Christmas, and grew up surrounded by lights, glitter, and merriment. “As long as you live in our castle, sweet Princess, you’ll always have the brightest and best Christmases!”, declared King Roger.
The princess at her wedding to Prince Humbug
But the Princess knew she couldn’t stay in the castle forever. She left for a life far, far away, 3 LONG miles from the castle where she grew up. It was there that she met a Prince, and fell in love. Prince “Humbug” was young, dashing, and captured the heart of the princess. They were married on a fine spring May Day, and left for a new adventure in Big City, half a continent away.
Prince Humbug wasn’t rich. Prince Humbug couldn’t afford to give his princess a castle. For two years they lived in squalor. At Christmas, there were no vast expanses of shiny lights. There was no glitter. Missing their friends and family and merriment, Prince Humbug and the Princess left for the Great Frozen North, and moved into their first castle.
The castle was small and humble, but they were happy. At Christmas, the Princess dreamed of her Christmases growing up, and asked Prince Humbug if she could have lights, glitter, and merriment as when she was a child. But as the years passed, Prince Humbug was inflicted with a terrible case of the Grumbly Grumpies. Prince Humbug scoffed when the Princess asked for a castle lit up with lights and glitter. “There are more important things to worry about,” groused the Prince.
Years passed, with the Prince and Princess having a perfect young son, and eventually they moved into a larger castle. “This is the castle of my dreams!”, said the Princess. “If only we could decorate it like the castle from my childhood!”. Prince Humbug couldn’t resist a bat of an eye from the Princess, and for a few years, despite the Grumbly Grumpies, he grudgingly obliged the Princess. At Christmas, the exterior of the castle was often lit with colorful lights and glitter, and the Prince tried to provide the merriment the Princess had as a young girl. But as he got older, Prince Humbug fell deeper under the spell of the Grumbly Grumpies. When Christmas time came and the Princess asked if the castle could be decorated with lights and glitter, the Prince said “BAH!!! Humbug! Why spend hours putting up silly lights that will just have to be taken down again when the Holidays are over?!” Even a bat of the beautiful Princess” eyes couldn’t sway the Grumbly Grumpy heart of the Prince.
Dark times fell on the land. Evil Orange Overlord took control of the land, and the people were afraid. Up was down, down was up, news was fake, science wasn’t real, and deception and hatred became commonplace. As the darkness spread, Prince Humbug’s heart became ever blacker. The Princess did everything she could for their son the recreate the glorious Christmases of old, and despite the Grumbly Grumpy Prince, they were happy. But the Princess was afraid she would never again have the lights, glitter, and merriment from her youth.
As Christmas approached, Prince Humbug still was under the spell of the Grumbly Grumpies. “Christmas lights??!? BAH!! HUMBUG!!” he shrieked. “It’s silly!!”, he thought. “It’s a lot of work!”, he thought. But deep within Prince Humbug’s black heart were two shining stars, the stars of his love for the Princess and their beautiful young son. He knew what he had to do. He now knew that the lights, glitter, and merriment may not have mattered to him, but they WOULD make the Princess and their son just a little bit happier. And in a dark world, Prince Humbug decided to do anything he could to make things a little brighter.
The Prince traded some of his gold for some colorful Magic Glitter Twinkles. While the Princess and their son were away, the Prince placed the Magic Glitter Twinkles about the face of the castle. After all the wonderful years married to the Princess, he knew exactly what she would like. Straight!! Orderly!! Without a hint of sloppiness! The Prince carefully arranged the Magic Glitter Twinkles, placing each Glitter Twinkle in a cradle of its own to make sure they were straight. He then awaited the arrival of the Princess.
The Princess’ face lit up when she arrived back at the castle. “My Grumbly, Grumpy Prince, what have you done?! I had never dreamed of again seeing the lights, glitter, and merriment of my childhood!”. The Princess and their son was happy. “They are so straight! They are so perfect!”, exclaimed the Princess. The Prince knew he couldn’t recreate the exquisite displays from the Princess’ youth, but upon seeing the Princesses’ happy face…he now realized he didn’t HAVE to. The Princess didn’t need the World’s Best Glittery Display. She just wanted a hint of the dreamy Christmases she had as a girl.
And by obliging his beautiful, beloved Princess, Prince Humbug realized that perhaps the world wasn’t QUITE as dark as he had believed.
It wasn’t the biggest castle in the world. It wasn’t the brightest and most glittery Christmas display. But it was all the Princess needed, and she was happy.