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COVID-19 — ENOUGH of the anti-science bullshit

COVID-19 - Testing vs. Political Lean

I said a while back that I was going to try to avoid blogging about anything not related to birds and birding. There’s enough crap going on in the world since, oh, January 2017 to keep me occupied with multiple daily blogs if I wanted to, but I’ve been trying to, you know…stay sane.

Well, I’m about to break that oath, and talk something that’s definitely not bird related. We’re a good month into the worst of the COVID pandemic, and people are shell-shocked, and some are increasingly desperate. I get it. I understand the massive, Depression-level impact on the economy. I know there are a lot of people hurting, and I’m extremely sympathetic. I’d do whatever I could to help these people. But what I also know is that this has brought out a WORLD o’ ugly. Many Americans are soldiering on, pitching in to help where they can. Others are literally willing to sacrifice the lives of their fellow Americans, all for the sake of a paycheck.

As a human being…that’s damned tough to deal with. One thing that’s absolutely killing me right now though…the damned STUPIDITY and anti-expert, anti-science reaction to what’s happening. It all came to a culmination today with some idiot (on Facebook) who started bashing scientists and “stats men” for the (perceived) inability to perfectly predict the spread of COVID, and the trends over the coming days and months. This person made fun of weather men first, with a dig that COVID “stats men” make even weathermen’s predictions look good.

Yeah buddy…FUCK YOU. I’ve had it with the anti-science attitude in this country. There’s a fucking reason the US has by FAR the most cases in the entire world, and the most deaths. It’s the anti-intellectualism, anti-science, anti-expert attitude that’s fucked up the country, not just in the last 3+ years, but going back at least a couple of decades now.

People like this DO KNOW that the only way we’re getting out of this is THROUGH SCIENCE!!?!?? FINDING A CURE and/or TREATMENT!??!?! Anyway…here’s my response. I’ve just had enough of this kind of person.

The weather is a physical phenomenon. A lot of variables, but there are immutable, physical laws you can model. As hard as it is to model the weather, modeling this is orders of magnitude more difficult. COVID may be caused by a virus, but the spread and control is controlled by the actions of people. Blaming a “stats man” is ridiculous, as every scenario from every model has been just that…a scenario IF people behave as expected, or as they should. There are low scenarios, and high scenarios. And surprise…when people act according to the assumptions in the scenario…the models are pretty damned good.

Hint…People don’t do that. They don’t act as expected. They act in ways that are impossible to model (people ignoring the science, for one). So blame 1) a government (at many levels) that twiddled it’s thumbs and still hasn’t done a consistent job in reacting, and hasn’t done what they would be expected to do, 2) idiots like Governor Kristi Noem who play politics and ignore the scientists, despite hosting the biggest individual hot spot in the country, 3) people who are perfectly happy sacrificing other people for the sake of a paycheck.

Even a cynic like myself wouldn’t have foreseen so many Americans being so willing to allow the death of their fellow countrymen. Sorry, but blaming “stats men” and their models is BS. The whole anti-science spin is especially ridiculous given the ONLY thing that’s going to save our ass are the scientists working on treatments and a cure.

NOTE ABOUT GRAPHIC ABOVE: The graphic depicts Coronavirus testing frequency by state, vs. how that state voted in the 2016 election. In short…if you live in a blue state, consider yourself fortunate because you’re statistically much more likely to be tested. 10 of 13 top-testing states are Blue. 10 of 13 bottom-testing states are Red.

Do predator control programs help gamebirds like Pheasants? (Hint…No)

Ring-necked Pheasant - Phasianus colchicus

South Dakota’s favorite bird…an introduced game bird that does have an economic impact in the state. but are predator control programs like Kristi Noem’s actually beneficial to pheasant populations? Or, in fact, is it likely to WORSEN the situation? For the scads of hunters and others who evidently have found my blog…read this post. Don’t take my word for it regarding this misguided predator control program. Take the word of Sportsmen’s groups…of outdoor magazines…of conservation groups…of the SCIENCE behind bird populations, predators, and habitat. If you truly want to save your resource and stop playing political games because you’re “liberal” or “conservative”…follow the FACTS. Then petition Noem to stop this nonsense and instead focus on habitat conservation efforts.

Wow.  Traffic on my blog literally shot up ten-fold since I posted about the idiocy of Kristi Noem’s predator control program in South Dakota. And with that traffic of course comes the haters, with direct emails to me, and attempted blog replies that offered nothing more than name calling. Not surprisingly, most were from hunters.  If you can get past the four-letter words and try to make some sense of some of the emails I’ve had, the general thought is that killing skunks, opossums, red fox, and raccoons is very helpful for Ring-necked Pheasant populations. And thus, these hunters are all for Noem’s little misguided foray into “conservation”.

Let’s look at the facts. Do you like to hunt Ring-necked Pheasants? Chances are you support groups like Pheasants Forever? Here’s what Pheasants Forever has to say about predator control programs:

Stating an investment in increased habitat is FAR more effective than predator control in improving pheasant populations, they state:

Less-expensive methods to improve game bird populations and nesting success exist. Experts have focused on the amount of habitat (composition of the landscape) and the arrangement (configuration) that increase nesting success by reducing the effectiveness of predators. Well-designed habitat projects can reduce predation by up to 80 percent.

Regarding predator control, they state it’s ineffective at helping broad-scale pheasant populations…and in fact, it may INCREASE interactions among predators and pheasants:

It is important to understand that sustained trapping efforts tend to stimulate reproduction by predators (compensating for artificially low densities) and create populations with proportionately more juveniles that wander more across the landscape thereby increasing the chances of encountering pheasants.

Overall, here’s their summary statement on predator control, and where money SHOULD be spent…on habitat restoration:

While predator removal and exclusion methods can increase nesting success on small areas, these methods are too expensive for use on a landscape basis and do not significantly increase the number of nesting birds over the long term. Through the addition and management of habitat, we not only decrease the impact predators have on existing nests, but also increase the number of nests and population size in an area. Predators will continue to eat pheasants and their nests, but weather and habitat conditions will drive population fluctuations.

What’s laughable about Noem’s program is that she ignored the advice of her own people, and ignored past research in South Dakota that has focused on Ring-necked Pheasant populations. Former Governor Daugaard held a “Pheasant Habitat Summit” in 2013 and followed up by commissioning a “Governor’s Pheasant Habitat Work Group”.  You know…actually investing in RESEARCH and DISCUSSION before unilaterally making a bad decision to start a predator control program. Land owners, hunters, and government personnel participated. Regarding predator control, the working group found that “When suitable habitat is available and weather conditions warrant, pheasant populations flourish without direct predator control“. Even when a misguided bounty program like Noem’s is established, they found “Bounty systems in other states have been ineffective because the origin of the predators cannot be verified”.

More information from sportsmen’s groups.  Midwest Outdoors published a piece on the “5 widespread myths about pheasant and quail populations“. One of those 5 myths is shown below:

Myth: Predators are the main reason there are fewer pheasants and quail.

Busted: Yes, coyotes and fox will eat pheasants and quail, and raccoons and skunks are likely culprits when it comes to raided nests. But predators don’t eat habitat, which is far and away the biggest reason why pheasant populations decline. High annual losses to predators should not be misunderstood to mean that predation is responsible for long-term upland population declines. Landscapes with good habitat often have high numbers of pheasant numbers, as well as high numbers of many potential predators.

 

The impact of predators is magnified and often pinpointed as the primary problem after habitat conditions deteriorate. Confine pheasants and quail to smaller and smaller parcels of habitat, and a predator’s job gets a whole lot easier. Thankfully, well-designed habitat projects can reduce predation by up to 80 percent. Through the addition and management of habitat, not only does there tend to be a decrease in the impact predators make on existing nests, but more habitat is likely to increase the number of nests and the overall gamebird population. And habitat for pheasants and quail comes at a fraction of the cost of other intensive predator reduction methods that are cost-prohibitive across a large area.

Just like Pheasants Forever, they note it’s HABITAT that’s the key, and if you have adequate, well designed habitat, that alone decreases nest predation by predators. And just like Pheasants Forever, they note it’s a FAR bigger “bang for the buck” in using conservation dollars to promote pheasant populations.

Another sportsmen/hunting group, Quail Forever, states the following (hint…it ‘s similar to statements from all the other groups:

Bottom line: Through the addition and management of habitat, we not only decrease the impact predators have on existing nests, but also increase the number of nests and population size in the area. This management comes at a fraction of the cost of other predator reduction methods.

MORE HABITAT, LESS PREDATION, BEST OUTCOME
Less-expensive methods to improve game bird populations and nesting success exist. Experts have focused on the amount of habitat (composition of the landscape) and the arrangement (configuration) that increase nesting success by reducing the effectiveness of predators. Well-designed habitat projects can reduce predation by up to 80 percent.

 

Programs such as Noem’s may actually do more HARM than good for Pheasant populations. For example, red fox are noted as the most effective predators on Ring-necked Pheasants, by our own Game Fish and Parks. But red fox populations are quite low in South Dakota, as they simply cannot compete with Coyotes. There’s a direct, inverse relationship between high coyote densities and red fox densities. As this story notes, hunters wrongly blame coyotes for predation on Ring-necked Pheasants, but our own Game Fish & Parks notes Coyotes have a minimal impact on Ring-necked Pheasant populations. Human intervention in removing predators results in unpredictable impacts on other wildlife, and ironically, hunters calling for removal of Coyote should note that would likely HARM Ring-necked Pheasant populations, as Coyotes not only help keep Red Fox populations low, but also help control other small mammalian predators on Ring-necked Pheasant nests.  This isn’t just one isolated case of an unintended consequence of predator control programs. Some other studies note that predator control programs focused on creatures like red fox simply create more of an ecological niche that other predators come in and fill, such as feral cats.

The one common thread from our own GFP…from Pheasants Forever…from Quail Forever…from all groups associated with conservation and wildlife management…NOTHING has anything close to the impact on Ring-necked Pheasant populations as 1) habitat, and 2) climate. So what factors could contribute to any perceived decline of gamebirds in South Dakota. HABITAT LOSS.  Starting in the mid-2000s, the eastern Dakotas have seen an expansion in cropland that literally rivals rates of deforestation in the tropical rain forests.  Here are multiple studies that have quantified recent grassland loss in the Dakotas:

  1. Wright and Wimberly (2013) found a net loss of 1.3 million acres of grassland that resulted from conversion to corn or soybeans in five states comprising the western Corn Belt over the five years from 2006 to 2011.
  2. Johnston (2014) also used the CDL to analyze land cover trends across the eastern Dakotas and found that corn and soy agriculture expanded by 27% (3.8 million ha) during the two years from 2010 to 2012.
  3. Reitsma et al. (2015) reported a net grassland loss of 4.6 million acres resulting from cropland expansion in the state of South Dakota over the six years from 2006 to 2012.

 

I’m a scientist. I look at evidence. I look at FACTS. The FACTS couldn’t be clearer.

  1. Predators aren’t driving any broad-scale decline in gamebirds such as pheasants. 
  2. Habitat loss is far and away the biggest concern for gamebirds (and other wildlife) in the Dakotas
  3. Predator control problems are expensive and ineffective, with a miniscule impact compared to dollar-for-dollar habitat conservation efforts.

I’ll end with one more driving factor for the long term…climate change. As noted above, conservation and management groups all noted TWO factors that had the biggest impact on gamebird populations..habitat, and weather/climate. The climate is changing…whether you “believe” in it or not.  What are the potential impacts on gamebird populations in South Dakota? Let’s look at Sharp-tailed Grouse populations in the state.  They are found from the southern to northern border in South Dakota, in much of the western half to two-thirds of the state. They are found as far south as the Platte River in Nebraska. What about the future?

Using projected changes in both land use (habitat loss) and projected changes in climate, this (wonderful!!!) study found that your grandchildren aren’t going to be hunting Sharp-tailed Grouse. Not in South Dakota anyway.  The top map below shows the “current” distribution of Sharp-tailed Grouse. The areas in red in the bottom three maps? Those all show areas where Sharp-tailed Grouse will be severely impacted by climate and land use change…with a bulls-eye right on South Dakota and northern Nebraska. Three climate scenarios are shown, with “A2” being the most severe scenario, and “B1” being the least severe. REGARDLESS of scenario, this research shows that SHARP-TAILED GROUSE WILL BE EXTIRPATED FROM THE SOUTHERN TWO-THIRDS OF SOUTH DAKOTA BY 2075.

Sharp-tailed Grouse - Tympanuchus phasianellusSo please, sportsmen…if you want to preserve your resource, do ALL of us some good. Predator control? NOBODY (other than our rather clueless governor) believe it’s an effective long-term solution. You want a big bang-for-the-buck? Petition Noem’s office for habitat conservation and preservation programs. Contribute to groups that foster habitat protection. That’s a “win” for all concerned, as it not only benefits Ring-necked Pheasants and reduces predation, but it helps non-game species as well.

And if you’re like me and have a son…and if you worry about his future…play the long game as well, and start paying attention to the long-term devastation climate change is going to have in the state.

Ring-necked Pheasant - Phasianus colchicus

A young Ring-necked Pheasant hanging out on a fence post. Do you want to preserve these birds, and also end up helping ALL wildlife in the state? Stop supporting this ridiculous predator control effort, and focus the state’s attention on habitat conservation.

PLEASE – Direct your S.Dakota “bounty” program anger to the right outlet!!

Kristi Noem - Architect of SDakota's Misguided Bounty Program

THIS WOMAN, Governor Kristi Noem, is responsible for implementation of South Dakota’s horrible, misguided predator control and “bounty” program. PLEASE folks, do NOT direct any anger or inquiries about the program to the Outdoor Campus. They were mandated from on high by our horrid governor to implement the bounty program. They have no choice in the matter. If you’re upset about the program, direct your attention to the governor’s office.

EDIT: ALSO READ THIS BLOG POST ABOUT THE REAL “VALUE” OF PREDATOR CONTROL PROGRAMS, and what South Dakota and Noem SHOULD be doing.

In several years of blogging, I have NEVER had a blog post receive as much immediate attention (and views) as the one from yesterday, regarding the South Dakota predator “bounty” program.  It’s come to my attention that there are petitions and other energies directed against the program.  That’s GREAT. However, please, please do not direct your anger at the Outdoor Campus itself, or the persons at the Outdoor Campus.  

The staff at the Outdoor Campus is, ironically, in a very similar position to what I and my colleagues (federal scientists) often feel like over the last 2+ years. We’re all dedicated to our mission. We believe with all our heart and soul in that mission. We believe we are HELPING people, and we take great pride and satisfaction in that work. But alas, politics plays an ugly role when you’re a government worker, and increasingly, that politics interferes with the public good, and with the ability for staff to do their jobs.

THIS is one of those situations. The Outdoor Campus didn’t ask for this. They were given a directive from on high to support this god-awful program. They were directed to be a collection point for people to bring in all their dead critters for bounty.  They have no choice in the matter, whether or not the believe in the program.  Because of that…

 PLEASE DO NOT DIRECT ANY INQUIRIES OR ANY ANGER TOWARDS THE OUTDOOR CAMPUS OR ITS STAFF. 

I greatly respect the vast majority of the work that is done by the Outdoor Campus and their staff. Frankly I don’t visit the Outdoor Campus nearly as much as I used to, and you know why? Because the place is usually CRAWLING with children. Weekdays with school field trips, weekends with kids and their families, the Outdoor Campus has become a beehive of activity in the heart of Sioux Falls. Given how disconnected kids generally are these days from the outdoors, I wholeheartedly support most of the work that they do.

And that is why it broke my heart to see how the bounty program has become a mandated part of the mission of the Outdoor Campus. I believe in most things the Outdoor Campus does. But I do not, can not, and will not support ANY kind of “predator control”, and this bounty program is about the worst implementation of such a program that I can imagine. SCIENCE SHOWS PREDATOR CONTROL DOESN’T WORK for the purpose of increasing critters people like to hunt.  Not only that, but the evidence shows it has all kinds of unintended consequences, including increases in rodents and other pests that result in MORE damage than what the predators themselves might be responsible for. It’s a misguided program, mandated from Kristi Noem and the state government.

AIM YOUR ANGER IN THAT DIRECTION. Give the Outdoor Campus folks a break, for they truly are dedicated to a mission of helping people connect with the outdoors.

I DARE you to name a state more ass-backwards than South Dakota

South Dakota Redneck Bounty Program

A small feel for what it’s like when you pull up to the Outdoor Campus in Sioux Falls. They’ve brought in a trailer and dumped it next to a trail, and there are bright, obnoxious yellow signs EVERYWHERE touting the new South Dakota Redneck Bounty Program (my title). The Outdoor Campus was a great place for kids to learn about and appreciate the outdoors. Now when they come in, THIS is what first greets them. This is what breaks my heart, that with this program being mandated from on high, that kids coming into the Outdoor Campus will now associate the outdoors with a program that’s all about the exploitation and killing animals.

EDIT: NOTE — Read this related post! If you are upset about the bounty program like I am, direct your anger to the right outlet! That’s not the Outdoor Campus themselves! 

ALSO: READ HERE for what the evidence and experts say about predator control programs, and where your money is better spent.

With a long last couple of weeks that included a conference that went 5 days (including a Saturday and a Sunday), I had today off. With the latest storm-of-the-century winding down, I thought I’d head out and do a bit of birding, given that with fresh snow and ice, the birds were likely bunched up. I’ve seen some sparrow migrants at my feeders in the last day or two, including several Fox Sparrows and White-throated Sparrows.  Knowing sparrow migration can be spectacular here both in terms of number and species, I thought I’d try birding the Outdoor Campus in Sioux Falls, given the feeder complexes and habitat that might attract migrants. They bill themselves as “South Dakota’s premiere outdoor skills education center”. They have a little pond, teach kids to fish and canoe, have displays about critters in the state, and have some nice trails to hike, all in the heart of Sioux Falls.

Over the years, I’ve helped out the Outdoor campus on occasion. They have an area with big windows looking out on the feeder complexes, and I’ve donated photos to hang in that room. I’ve given talks at there about birds, birding, and photography.  I’ve donated photos for other purposes. However, after today’s visit, the emotional side of me almost wants that cooperation to end. As I walked past photos of mine in the “bird room”, as I walked in the front DOOR and saw photos of mine advertising upcoming meetings, I frankly was tempted to rip them all down and bring them out with me.  Why?

Our “beloved” dim-witted new governor, Kristi Noem, unilaterally declared war on wildlife in the state. Despite the objections of HER OWN EXPERTS (sound familiar, Donald Trump?), she unilaterally directed Fish & Wildlife funds to go towards a new trapping and bounty program. Her brilliant theory? Sometimes critters will eat Ring-necked Pheasant eggs.  We can’t have that!  The fewer Ring-necked Pheasants we have, the fewer there will be for people to blast away at and kill!! So this “brilliant” woman established this program to trap and kill as many predators in the state as possible. Thinking it’s 1819, not 2019, she actually instituted a bounty on any creature she herself thought might occasionally snack on pheasant eggs.  The bounty includes pretty much any small and medium-sized predator in the state, including raccoon, opossum, skunk, coyote, red fox…etc…etc…etc.

Do you know how many Red Fox I’ve been fortunate enough to see in my 25+ years in South Dakota.  THREE. THREE RED FOX, in 25 freaking years. But evidently they’re a huge threat to pheasants and must be trapped, killed, and their tails must be brought in for reward.

So what do you see now when you go to this premiere educational center? They have a trailer parked outside, and a bunch of signs up touting the availability of traps, and noting where to go to bring your tails for your bounty.  That’s right…it’s 2019, and in the heart of Sioux Falls, we now have a bunch of signs up asking people to go out and kill animals, cut off the tails, and bring them in for a reward.  As this laughable piece touting the program notes, one of the state administrators of the program states this is a way to “get people outside, get them excited for the outdoors“.  Because nothing says “fun” like trapping creatures, then killing them and cutting off their tails.

Sportsmen themselves are appalled at this program. Kristi Noem was supposed to visit a monthly meting of The Black Hills Sportsmen’s Club, but Noem skipped the meeting when she found out the group was circulating material protesting the bounty program. As the Sportsmen’s Club points out, research shows trapping and killing small predators does nothing to actually increase pheasant populations. The Club also rightfully points out that the number one way to improve pheasant populations is to increase suitable habitat. Yet South Dakota currently is a hotbed for conversion of grasslands to cropland, and shelterbelts and other protective cover are being ripped out at an unprecedented pace to increase cultivated acreage. Instead of directing funds to improve habitat, as science states is the logical way to go, she instead chose an action that defies logic and the expertise of her own wildlife people.

I wish I could say this kind of thing is an isolated incident in South Dakota, but we’re known for our ass-backwardsness. Short-term thinking, small minds, and an outright HOSTILITY towards “experts”, science, logic, and truth…that’s pretty much the state logo.  I’ll leave it with a quite from the Dakota Free Press story linked above, regarding Noem’s cowardly refusal to meet with the Sportsmen’s Club.  And I will count the days until I retire and I can leave this state.

But start talking about science, and Governor Noem’s eyes glaze over. Disagree with her, and she turns her back. She’s more interested in crowning herself with more titles than actually solving problems.

Outdoor Campus Redneck Bounty Program

Another view with more signs about the bounty program. This is what breaks my heart. Because of this program mandated from Noem on down, this is now what people will see when they first arrive at the Outdoor Campus. This is what a kid visiting for the first time might associate with “the Outdoors”…that the whole reason it’s there is for exploitation…for killing. That’s what’s most upsetting about seeing this activity at the Outdoor Campus.

 

Mitch McConnell’s Tumor – John Thune

John Thune and Mitch McConnell

Senate Majority leader and eunuch, Mitch McConnell, and the ever-present tumor of his left butt cheek, John Thune, talking today about their refusal to support an independent investigation into TrumpGate.

I’m pissed. Yes, after the news of the last 24 hours, I am genuinely, 100%, down-to-my-core, pissed. Who am I pissed at? Yes, I’m pissed at Trump, who has the gall to fire the very man tasked to lead an investigation into RussiaGate.  I’m even MORE pissed at enablers like Mitch McConnell, a eunuch who CLEARLY lost his balls decades ago.  Republican leadership who continually look away from potentially unethical and/or illegal behavior are even worse than Trump himself, since unlike the completely clueless Orange Hitler, THEY KNOW BETTER. THEY KNOW THE STAKES.  They know the threat to our government institutions and people’s faith in government, yet they continually put politics (and their own hides) above the country. Who am I most pissed at?  Trump supporters, the most hypocritical group of human beings on the planet. They couldn’t have been more vocal in criticizing James Comey for supposedly not pursuing Hillary Clinton more vigorously (a laughable criticism to begin with), but then they turn around and support Comey’s firing when he dares to investigate one of their own.  As I’ve stated before, Donald Trump was right during the campaign when he said he could walk down the street and shoot someone, and still his clueless supporters would cheer him on.  The only thing that enables the destruction of a democracy is a ignorant, apathetic populous whose only interest in life is their own selfish pleasure, and that’s exactly what Trump supporters are, given their aversion to FACT and their intellectual and moral laziness.

There are plenty of Trump enablers to share the blame, but three of them are from right here in good ol’ South Dakota. Our congressional delegation has one overarching commonality…they are simply 3 empty suits, 3 people without an original thought in their collective minds, 3 people whose only purpose on the planet is to serve as 100% guaranteed votes for whatever their Republican leaders tell them to vote for.  One of the three holds a special place in my heart though.  It’s not Senator Mike Rounds, our former governor who is most likely the least visible member in all of the Senate. It’s not Representative Kristi Noem, although her laughable, misguided defense of her TrumpCare vote does give her extra points.  No, it’s Senator John Thune who receives most of my wrath.

John Thune and Mitch McConnell

McConnell’s tumor has been present for quite some time. Here McConnell and his tumor address a ceremony honoring Muhammad Ali in 2016.

There’s a history. Over a decade ago, we met with the Thune multiple times.  Our very young son was diagnosed with Type-1 diabetes at a very young age, and we wanted to talk to Thune about health care bills making their way through Congress.  One of those was a stem cell bill, a bill that offered tremendous hope for Type-1 diabetes research.  We talked for 15 minutes, discussed the merits of the research and how it would help Type-1 children, and expressed our hope he would vote for the bill.  His answer, the VERY FIRST WORDS he spoke, are word that I’ll never forget…”I can’t be expected to vote for that bill, I’m a Republican!“.  It wasn’t even “I (myself) can’t vote for that bill”, it was “I can’t be expected to vote” for the bill, a phrase that perfectly describes Thune’s lack of original thought and inclination to do whatever he was told by party leadership.  HE DOES WHAT PARTY LEADERSHIP EXPECT HIM TO DO.  In the many years since, it’s become painfully obvious that this mentality is what has driven his entire career.

Given Thune’s mechanical performance when we met with him, and given his lack of original thought or ideas in the years since, I’ve had a revelation. At first I thought….could Thune not be “real”? Could be be an android, or some other artificial being, purposely created by the Republican party to do their bidding?  But then it dawned on me. John Thune isn’t human. John Thune isn’t an android or artificial being.  No, John Thune can best be described as a tumor…specifically, a tumor of Mitch McConnell’s rear end.

John Thune and Mitch McConnell

Dear god, the tumor is even starting to DRESS like it’s master…

Think about it…when do you see photos of John Thune?  Do you EVER see a photo of him by himself?  For such a senior Senator, you’d THINK there would occasionally be a press conference, a hearing, or some other government function where he has a lead role, where he appears at a podium by himself.  Do we ever see that? NO!! When is the ONLY time we see a photo or video with John Thune?  When he’s standing directly behind Mitch McConnell, staying completely quiet like a good little (mindless) Republican soldier.

Perhaps Thune WAS once human.  Perhaps Thune DID once have a mind of his own.  Over the years, however, he’s kissed Mitch McConnell’s butt cheeks so many times that I believe he’s now become permanently attached.  John Thune has now been assimilated into Mitch McConnell, and sadly, is no longer anything other than a tumor of Mitch McConnell’s left butt cheek.

Mitch McConnell’s Tumor, much like Mitch McConnell himself, came out today with a statement stating we don’t need an independent investigation of the Trump / Russia link. Not exactly a surprise, since as a tumor, he shares the same DNA as McConnell himself.  Sadly, and ironically, it’s unlikely the tumor will be excised from McConnell’s rear end at any point in the near future, given the Republican focus on destroying the very health care system that could assist medical cases such as his…

John Thune and Mitch McConnell

It’s been a long-standing relationship! The tumor budded from McConnell’s butt cheek almost immediately upon Thune’s arrival in the Senate. Historical footage from 2013, shown here, indicates the close relationship between the tumor and McConnell, even predating the time before McConnell became servant to Beelzebub and lost his ability to even provide a fake smile such as this.

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