Articles for this day of May 10, 2017

Mitch McConnell’s Tumor – John Thune

John Thune and Mitch McConnell

Senate Majority leader and eunuch, Mitch McConnell, and the ever-present tumor of his left butt cheek, John Thune, talking today about their refusal to support an independent investigation into TrumpGate.

I’m pissed. Yes, after the news of the last 24 hours, I am genuinely, 100%, down-to-my-core, pissed. Who am I pissed at? Yes, I’m pissed at Trump, who has the gall to fire the very man tasked to lead an investigation into RussiaGate.  I’m even MORE pissed at enablers like Mitch McConnell, a eunuch who CLEARLY lost his balls decades ago.  Republican leadership who continually look away from potentially unethical and/or illegal behavior are even worse than Trump himself, since unlike the completely clueless Orange Hitler, THEY KNOW BETTER. THEY KNOW THE STAKES.  They know the threat to our government institutions and people’s faith in government, yet they continually put politics (and their own hides) above the country. Who am I most pissed at?  Trump supporters, the most hypocritical group of human beings on the planet. They couldn’t have been more vocal in criticizing James Comey for supposedly not pursuing Hillary Clinton more vigorously (a laughable criticism to begin with), but then they turn around and support Comey’s firing when he dares to investigate one of their own.  As I’ve stated before, Donald Trump was right during the campaign when he said he could walk down the street and shoot someone, and still his clueless supporters would cheer him on.  The only thing that enables the destruction of a democracy is a ignorant, apathetic populous whose only interest in life is their own selfish pleasure, and that’s exactly what Trump supporters are, given their aversion to FACT and their intellectual and moral laziness.

There are plenty of Trump enablers to share the blame, but three of them are from right here in good ol’ South Dakota. Our congressional delegation has one overarching commonality…they are simply 3 empty suits, 3 people without an original thought in their collective minds, 3 people whose only purpose on the planet is to serve as 100% guaranteed votes for whatever their Republican leaders tell them to vote for.  One of the three holds a special place in my heart though.  It’s not Senator Mike Rounds, our former governor who is most likely the least visible member in all of the Senate. It’s not Representative Kristi Noem, although her laughable, misguided defense of her TrumpCare vote does give her extra points.  No, it’s Senator John Thune who receives most of my wrath.

John Thune and Mitch McConnell

McConnell’s tumor has been present for quite some time. Here McConnell and his tumor address a ceremony honoring Muhammad Ali in 2016.

There’s a history. Over a decade ago, we met with the Thune multiple times.  Our very young son was diagnosed with Type-1 diabetes at a very young age, and we wanted to talk to Thune about health care bills making their way through Congress.  One of those was a stem cell bill, a bill that offered tremendous hope for Type-1 diabetes research.  We talked for 15 minutes, discussed the merits of the research and how it would help Type-1 children, and expressed our hope he would vote for the bill.  His answer, the VERY FIRST WORDS he spoke, are word that I’ll never forget…”I can’t be expected to vote for that bill, I’m a Republican!“.  It wasn’t even “I (myself) can’t vote for that bill”, it was “I can’t be expected to vote” for the bill, a phrase that perfectly describes Thune’s lack of original thought and inclination to do whatever he was told by party leadership.  HE DOES WHAT PARTY LEADERSHIP EXPECT HIM TO DO.  In the many years since, it’s become painfully obvious that this mentality is what has driven his entire career.

Given Thune’s mechanical performance when we met with him, and given his lack of original thought or ideas in the years since, I’ve had a revelation. At first I thought….could Thune not be “real”? Could be be an android, or some other artificial being, purposely created by the Republican party to do their bidding?  But then it dawned on me. John Thune isn’t human. John Thune isn’t an android or artificial being.  No, John Thune can best be described as a tumor…specifically, a tumor of Mitch McConnell’s rear end.

John Thune and Mitch McConnell

Dear god, the tumor is even starting to DRESS like it’s master…

Think about it…when do you see photos of John Thune?  Do you EVER see a photo of him by himself?  For such a senior Senator, you’d THINK there would occasionally be a press conference, a hearing, or some other government function where he has a lead role, where he appears at a podium by himself.  Do we ever see that? NO!! When is the ONLY time we see a photo or video with John Thune?  When he’s standing directly behind Mitch McConnell, staying completely quiet like a good little (mindless) Republican soldier.

Perhaps Thune WAS once human.  Perhaps Thune DID once have a mind of his own.  Over the years, however, he’s kissed Mitch McConnell’s butt cheeks so many times that I believe he’s now become permanently attached.  John Thune has now been assimilated into Mitch McConnell, and sadly, is no longer anything other than a tumor of Mitch McConnell’s left butt cheek.

Mitch McConnell’s Tumor, much like Mitch McConnell himself, came out today with a statement stating we don’t need an independent investigation of the Trump / Russia link. Not exactly a surprise, since as a tumor, he shares the same DNA as McConnell himself.  Sadly, and ironically, it’s unlikely the tumor will be excised from McConnell’s rear end at any point in the near future, given the Republican focus on destroying the very health care system that could assist medical cases such as his…

John Thune and Mitch McConnell

It’s been a long-standing relationship! The tumor budded from McConnell’s butt cheek almost immediately upon Thune’s arrival in the Senate. Historical footage from 2013, shown here, indicates the close relationship between the tumor and McConnell, even predating the time before McConnell became servant to Beelzebub and lost his ability to even provide a fake smile such as this.

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