“Take the keys away” from men

Hand over the keys, guys

OK guys, we've had our chance, and we've been a complete and utter disaster. We've had our 5,000 year run. Time to hand the keys over to women.

CNN has a story tonight about the Secret Service scandal involving prostitutes, and notes that one issue is that there simply aren’t enough women in the Secret Service (it’s about 3 men for every 1 woman).  The story just simply states that “Women don’t get into trouble the way men do”, and that having a male-dominated culture at the Secret Service is a BIG part of the problem.

Even as a man, I couldn’t agree more!  I think the world would be a MUCH more pleasant place if men were taken out of ANY position of real responsibility, and women were solely in charge.  What I propose…a proverbial “taking the keys away” from men, from the very moment they’re born.  Might as well start early, and remove ANY chance that men are ever put in charge of ANYTHING.  Want your little boy to run for president of the 5th grade class?  TOO BAD!! Girls only!!  The football coach of the local high school team?  MUST be a woman!  I think you could make it kind of “unofficial” rule for kids under 18, but the moment a man turns 18 or enters the work force, it should be a rule that no man can EVER be placed in a position of power over any woman.  No, even simpler, make it so no man can ever be placed in ANY position of power, ever.

I’m convinced such a system would eliminate 99% of the world’s problems.  As it is now, it seems that most of the world’s problems are caused by an excess of testosterone.  As a man, I confess that as a sex, we are selfish, egotistical pigs who seem to be ONLY driven by the need to compete and “beat” our fellow-man at, well, whatever life throws at us.   The macho bravado that typifies men playing any kind of sport?  It really isn’t ANY different in everyday life for 99% of men.

We all see it every day, from the moment we leave the house in the morning.  You’re driving to work, and inevitably some guy who simply MUST be ahead of you will drive like a complete jackass, either cutting you off, passing you, or just giving you the ol’ one-finger salute for daring to be on the same road as him.  You get to work, and the macho bravado continues, with a large proportion of men treating work less as a cooperative venture and more like a sporting competition, where the only real goal is to gain personal glory, no matter who gets stepped on along the way, or how it may hurt the company or group you’re working for.  Certainly my LEAST favorite aspect of work, by far, is dealing with people who only seem to care about ‘credit’ and putting themselves up on a pedestal.  And…the vast majority of those people are men.

Take that line of thinking up to positions of REAL power, and it only gets worse.  Give a guy an army to play with, and you’re just ASKING for bombs to be falling somewhere in the world, for a war to be happening somewhere, no matter whether it’s actually necessary.  As men, it seems like we can’t help ourselves.  We’re just not happy unless we’re trying to beat the hell out of another human being, either literally or figuratively.   I dare ANYONE to dispute that the world would be a much nicer place if we immediately removed all male world leaders, and replaced them with women.

No, given the machismo that permeates all men to some degree, I wouldn’t expect men to take such a drastic change without putting up a fight.  But think about it, men. No more dealing with the stress of competition.  No more stressing out about work, and trying to climb to the top.  Hell, it could even mean the end of neighborhood “lawn wars”, where men can’t help but fertilize and treat the hell out of their lawns in order to make their yard one-quarter shade greener than your neighbors.  Think how much more free time we would have, since right now, I think we each spend, on average, about 10 hours a day in some weird form of manly “competition”, be it at home, work, on the road, etc.

As my son would say…just “chill-ax”, guys.  Stop $ucking things up around the world.  We’ve be dominating the human race for, oh, 5,000 years or so.  It’s time to admit we’ve failed, and hand over the keys to what is UNDOUBTEDLY the “better half” of the human race.

7 Responses to “Take the keys away” from men

  1. Oh, I think women are just as “powerful”, imperious and bitchy as men. And often they treat men as if they are fools who have to be lead by women. It’s a bad thing for mothers to teach their kids men are idiots who can be hit, insulted or demeaned. There has to be a balance. Working together productively, respectfully, is the way to get anything meaningful done. Women going into the military shouldn’t have to worry about being raped or otherwise sexually assaulted and then called crazy by men. Men shouldn’t be protrayed as fools on tv and tv commercials. Both should be doing the work of parenting.

  2. Well Terry. This woman likes what you wrote. I agree with nearly all of it.

    Most of the men I have known in my life are in the category you describe. But some are not. You are apparently one of them. So is Steve, and Richard, and several others. So I could see some men being given the keys at perhaps, age 30. That being said, I could also see those men being willing to voluntarily relinquish the keys for the sake of humankind.

    It’s the culture that needs changed, and that change would require something really radical, perhaps what you suggest. Meteoright says that women can be a problem too. Some women can. I would say that number could easily be lower than 10%, so the risk is much reduced.

    There is a change happening in the culture of women. That change is that some are trying to behave more like men so that those women might become more likely to be financially and powerfully “successful.” That means all the things you described, Terry. That change needs to be reversed.

    Biologically, men are programmed to be more violent, competitive, etc. But we’re not living in primitive times now, and that programming is doing us all harm, as you described. I don’t believe men have learned the humility, or endure the humiliation, that women still do.

    When the sports pages headline reads, “College basketball,” it’s assumed to be “men” they’re talking about. If not, the headline will say “Women’s College Basketball.” Men are the norm. Look at the front page. How many stories are about women? Look at the monuments about any town. How many are about women? Look at street names, school names, town names.

    No one is clamoring to control men’s sexual activity, just women’s. No one talks about whether or not a boy needs a good education. No religion makes the men dress in concealing clothing, or describes men as the source of sin. No religion excludes men from positions of religious authority.

    There is lots of talk about welfare Queens, not Kings. All the governor portraits lining the hall of the capitol are men.

    My point is, most women know about enduring hardship, and don’t take things for granted the way men do. We’re not considering Ann Romney for pres. She is Willard’s “helpmeet”, and a campaign asset.

    Women are less arrogant, violent, competitive, and excitable. For a couple of generations anyway, let’s do as Terry has described. Plus, let’s restrict voting to women only. I think we will see a wonderful change in our planet.

  3. Love the last part of your post DE. So true with all the assumption about men vs. women, such as the “college basketball” example, news stories, etc.

    When there is a “strong” woman who goes toe to toe with men, very unflattering labels are placed on her. Still very disgusting to me that in this day and age, women still make about 70% as much as men for the same type of job…but not surprising, given how men stack the deck in their favor.

  4. Women doing all the voting, or all the anything, is unbalanced. Have to learn to work together for mutual success and benefit.

  5. I agree Meteor. The problem is that men refuse to allow us to work with them as equals. (Do you see that males have the power to “allow” us? Do you understand what that means?) The reason for a few generations of men without those rights, is to teach them humility generationally.

    White male privilege is as pervasive as the air. For white males, it’s like water to a fish. You don’t even realize the extent to which it exists. Even the most thoughtful and aware men aren’t aware of the full extent of WMP. There comes the need to take it away entirely. That is how one becomes truly and fully aware of the value of something.

    It’s a radical and extensive, even painful solution to an intractable problem. If you have a better solution than Terry’s suggestion, I’d love to hear it.

  6. The hero of the episode is supervisor, Paula Reed.

    “If every boss was Paula Reid, the Secret Service would never have a problem,” the former agent said, speaking on the condition of anonymity to talk candidly about a former colleague. “It would be a lot more boring, but never a problem.”


  7. I read that too, John. I wonder if there is something going on in culture that is strengthening the “male as sexual conqueror” thing? Or has it always been this bad?

    I listened to a radio broadcast about this issue on NPR. The guest said it was all just “boys will be boys” behavior and didn’t mean a thing. For all the good, reputable men I know, that just drives them crazy! What does that say about men? Immaturity? Disloyalty? Lack of self-control? Primitiveness?

    It is incredibly denigrating in my way of thinking.

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