A grumpy old man. A grumpy, old, big-headed man. This might as well be a self-portrait. GET OFF MY LAWN, YOU DAD-GUM KIDS!! It's not a bright future for me.
I turned 45 Friday. Unbelievable. Of course the primary concern was whether the world would also end that day, as I posted previously. Thankfully we all seem to have survived Friday, unless this is some kind of weird, “Lost”-like world of Limbo or some alternative reality. Given that neither of those seems likely, that means that my primary focus as of 12:01 AM Saturday was dealing with the reality of being 45 years old.
I’ve been married 18 years, and have been at my current job for 18 years. I have the most wonderful little 8-year old boy on the planet. But yet, I certainly don’t FEEL 45. Am I the only person who is WELL into adulthood who sometimes doesn’t feel like, well, an adult? I’ve come a long way from the incredibly shy, awkward high school kid I used to be, to the point where I can now give a lecture or a speech and feel totally confident and comfortable. But yet, I still sometimes feel like I’m a kid, a kid who has had the clock fast-forwarded 25 years (or more) and is just play-acting.
But I’m definitely NOT a kid!! I’m freakin’ old!! SERIOUSLY old!! WELL beyond my youth!! Turning 30 was a breeze. I didn’t think twice about turning 40. But 45? 45 means I’m coming up on 50!! FIFTY freakin’ years old!! I’m practically to the age where I’m the old washed-up guy in the back of the meeting room who dozes off at inopportune times!! This “age” thing is starting to get too damned serious!!!
Terry, meet mid-life crisis. Mid-life crisis, meet Terry. Now the question is, how do I cope? In the short term, I’ve been coping by taking more vacation days than I probably should, and going fishing. A LOT. Just yesterday, I got up at 3:15 AM and drove 3+ hours to Oahe Dam and the Missouri River to go fishing all day. We’ve never had so much fish in our freezer. Pretty soon the freezer will be full…then what am I to do? Plan for fishing NEXT year! As part of my mid-life crisis, I’ve also sent away for catalogs for the latest Lund, Crestliner, Ranger, etc. fishing boats. I say to myself that a nice new shiny fishing boat would be something my son and I would really enjoy, as he has really gotten into fishing this summer. While that’s true, I think I also know the boat fascination is more about me, than my son.
But what else am I to do? How else do you end a mid-life crisis, other than by spending a ridiculous amount of money on something you really don’t need? Some men go for the Corvette or the Harley…I’m contemplating a nice 16-18 foot Lund fishing boat. Beyond that, what are my choices? How else to end the crisis? Start downing a six-pack during my lunch hour? Take up sky-diving? Shave my head? Man, that would be ugly…I got me one BIIIIIGGG old melon-head. But I’m afraid that’s where things are headed.
So if you’re out and about at lunchtime some day, and you see some bald, giant-headed, drunken, sky-divin’ old guy, don’t worry, it’s just me, working through a mid-life crisis. The good news is, I know this phase can’t last forever!! Especially since I’m now so near the end. Poor me. Poor, old, big-headed me.